I am going to TRY to write a blog post everyday for the month of June. We shall see how it pans out. These next two weeks will be my hectic weeks with work, packing, and just getting everything prepared for the big day.
15 days and counting...
xoxo
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
The countdown begins...
16 more days left in San Diego. I cannot believe how fast time is flying. We are already halfway through 2012.
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A lot has happened these past few days. JJ turned 2 months on the 30th of May. I had an emotional breakdown on that day as well. I do not know what came over me. I could not control my emotions.
I broke down in front of my parents, brother and JJ. Then that evening I broke down over the phone with my hubby. I feel so stupid now but at that time I was just out of it.
My Dad said it could be the birth control. I need to have a better handle on my emotions. I know this now. I do not want to go through that again especially in front of JJ.
I know my parents are here to help me but I guess I felt like I wasn't getting any bonding time with JJ. In my head I felt like JJ did not want me. My Mom and Dad are only trying to help and spend time with him. When we are in OR they will not get to see him everyday like they do now. I understand this. I just lost it that day. I really need to get rid of the negative that runs through my head sometimes.
I am not ashamed or embarrassed to talk/write about this. It is not postpartum depression. I think I had a case of the baby blues. Those are two very different things. I am okay now. I have a better grasp on everything right now.
Being at work does not help. I miss JJ so much and that adds on to all the mixed emotions.
I love my husband so much. I know I am a handful at times. I know he is really trying to be supportive. The distance between us makes it hard buy in 15 days we will be reunited and in 16 days we will be on our way to OR as a family.
xoxo
----------
A lot has happened these past few days. JJ turned 2 months on the 30th of May. I had an emotional breakdown on that day as well. I do not know what came over me. I could not control my emotions.
I broke down in front of my parents, brother and JJ. Then that evening I broke down over the phone with my hubby. I feel so stupid now but at that time I was just out of it.
My Dad said it could be the birth control. I need to have a better handle on my emotions. I know this now. I do not want to go through that again especially in front of JJ.
I know my parents are here to help me but I guess I felt like I wasn't getting any bonding time with JJ. In my head I felt like JJ did not want me. My Mom and Dad are only trying to help and spend time with him. When we are in OR they will not get to see him everyday like they do now. I understand this. I just lost it that day. I really need to get rid of the negative that runs through my head sometimes.
I am not ashamed or embarrassed to talk/write about this. It is not postpartum depression. I think I had a case of the baby blues. Those are two very different things. I am okay now. I have a better grasp on everything right now.
Being at work does not help. I miss JJ so much and that adds on to all the mixed emotions.
I love my husband so much. I know I am a handful at times. I know he is really trying to be supportive. The distance between us makes it hard buy in 15 days we will be reunited and in 16 days we will be on our way to OR as a family.
xoxo
Thursday, May 31, 2012
05.30.2012 - TWO MONTHS!! (forgot to post!)
My baby boy is two months old today! I cannot believe how fast time is going. My little handsome is growing up so fast.
xoxo
xoxo
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Blog/Journal
I have recently purchased a new Moleskine journal and am getting back into writing. It feels so good to have pen in hand and put it to paper and let the thoughts just flow. Hopefully I can keep it up. We shall see.
As far as blogging goes...I do plan on getting more into it when in Oregon. Especially being a SAHM (stay at home Mom) once we are there. I am super excited about it. I will probably milk the unemployment for a year...two if possible. I want to spend time with JJ as much as possible. I will be housewife and SAHM. I look forward to it for sure :)
xoxo
As far as blogging goes...I do plan on getting more into it when in Oregon. Especially being a SAHM (stay at home Mom) once we are there. I am super excited about it. I will probably milk the unemployment for a year...two if possible. I want to spend time with JJ as much as possible. I will be housewife and SAHM. I look forward to it for sure :)
xoxo
Friday, May 11, 2012
JJ is SIX WEEKS OLD!
Time sure does breeze on by!
JJ is six weeks old today! I cannot believe that my little man is already six weeks. Every time I look at him, I am still in awe. I cannot believe that JJ came out of me. He is such a beautiful boy and I love him so much.
JJ is now making baby noises...he is so adorable when he makes the coo'ing noises. He is also strictly on formula. I made the decision to just stick with formula. Since birth JJ was breastfeeding and I supplemented with formula. I was not producing enough for his big appetite. Usually after every feeding I would have to give him an additional 1-2 oz of formula. It takes a good 6-8 hours for me to produce a full supply. Now that he is on formula he seems to be a happier baby. I am happier.
I was a little sad and trying to deal with "I cannot even provide for my baby"...it was hard. But with the support from my husband and awesome Mommy friends I am okay with JJ being on formula. The breastfeeding Nazi's can just shove it. Not all of use can produce enough milk, some cannot produce at all. We need to encourage and support each other...not knock each other down.
JJ's pediatrician is all about breastfeeding and does not understand how hard it is for me. She was able to BF her baby to almost 12 months. She said she was overflowing with milk. My cousin was the same way, and I have friends that are that way now. As for me...I would have loved to breastfeed for at least a year.
My baby boy is growing and is healthy and that is all that matters.
JJ is six weeks old today! I cannot believe that my little man is already six weeks. Every time I look at him, I am still in awe. I cannot believe that JJ came out of me. He is such a beautiful boy and I love him so much.
JJ is now making baby noises...he is so adorable when he makes the coo'ing noises. He is also strictly on formula. I made the decision to just stick with formula. Since birth JJ was breastfeeding and I supplemented with formula. I was not producing enough for his big appetite. Usually after every feeding I would have to give him an additional 1-2 oz of formula. It takes a good 6-8 hours for me to produce a full supply. Now that he is on formula he seems to be a happier baby. I am happier.
I was a little sad and trying to deal with "I cannot even provide for my baby"...it was hard. But with the support from my husband and awesome Mommy friends I am okay with JJ being on formula. The breastfeeding Nazi's can just shove it. Not all of use can produce enough milk, some cannot produce at all. We need to encourage and support each other...not knock each other down.
JJ's pediatrician is all about breastfeeding and does not understand how hard it is for me. She was able to BF her baby to almost 12 months. She said she was overflowing with milk. My cousin was the same way, and I have friends that are that way now. As for me...I would have loved to breastfeed for at least a year.
My baby boy is growing and is healthy and that is all that matters.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
04.30.2012 - ONE MONTH!! (forgot to post!!)
One month ago today I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.
xoxo
xoxo
Thursday, April 19, 2012
03.30.2012 - 04.18.2012
I gave birth on March 30th 2012 @ 9:06pm. Yep!! I have tons to update this blog on. Hahaha. I don't know where to begin!
I guess I will start off on the 30th a Friday. It was between 7 and 7:30ish. I had the sudden urge to urinate...so I went. Then I went back to bed. All of a sudden I had the urge again. I got up and sat on the toilet and went...again. Then as soon I got up a gush of water came down and old not stop. My water broke!! I jumped in the shower, got dressed, my Dad grabbed my bag and we were off to the hospital. My Mom called Bubby as soon as I woke her up (while sitting on the toilet and telling her 'I think my water broke'). Hahaha!! Bubby said he will be on his way to the airport.
When we got to the hospital I went through triage and I was checked in. I was only 1cm dilated...this was all around 9ish. Then around 11am I go in my room, they put an IV in and I was induced by 11:30am.
Bubby arrived after 2pm. OMGoodness the contractions sucked butt!! So much pain!!!!!!! After hacking it for a good 6 hours I asked for an epidural and it was all good after that. Well the catheter sucked ass. The RN put it in wrong so my bladder wasn't draining and every time I had a contraction I felt so much pressure. She corrected it by reinserting it and I felt easy better but this was a good few hours later. I only made it to 7cm and the c section Dr came in and said that by looking at my a c section was necessary. I did not argue with that.
Also I had a fever and ended up getting and infection. JJ was in fetal distress and every time I had a contraction his heart rate would go way up. That was the main reason they had to do an emergency c section.
They prepped me around 8pm and by 9:06pm they pulled Joshua Matthew Miller Jr. out. It was amazing to hear his cry.
He was born at 19.5 inches and 7lbs 8.5oz
I got to hold him in recovery before they took him to the NICU.
JJ ended up with hypothermia and tachycardia. He was put in the NICU for a week and I was in the hospital for 4 days.
It was hard having him on the first floor in NICU at Sharp Mary Burch and I was on the fifth floor. I didn't get to take my baby home when I was discharged. I did go see him every few hours to breast feed. Then when I was discharged I pumped and Bubby would bring it to the hospital while I rested at the hotel we were staying at. It was really close to the hospital.
I love our little man. He finally came home with us on Friday April 6th.
JJ has had appointments every week since being discharged. His pediatrician said he is healthy!! And there is no more signs of infection.
Since being home it has been nothing but baby mode around here. Hahaha. I love it!!
This mamabear has had no real sleep these past two weeks. JJ will be three weeks this coming Friday!!
Bubby is flying down during his weekend next week from the 25th to the 28th.
Breast feeding sure does take a lot out of you. I lost 25lbs already. Next week I start walking every day. It'll be the beginning of my third week post partum.
xoxo
I guess I will start off on the 30th a Friday. It was between 7 and 7:30ish. I had the sudden urge to urinate...so I went. Then I went back to bed. All of a sudden I had the urge again. I got up and sat on the toilet and went...again. Then as soon I got up a gush of water came down and old not stop. My water broke!! I jumped in the shower, got dressed, my Dad grabbed my bag and we were off to the hospital. My Mom called Bubby as soon as I woke her up (while sitting on the toilet and telling her 'I think my water broke'). Hahaha!! Bubby said he will be on his way to the airport.
When we got to the hospital I went through triage and I was checked in. I was only 1cm dilated...this was all around 9ish. Then around 11am I go in my room, they put an IV in and I was induced by 11:30am.
Bubby arrived after 2pm. OMGoodness the contractions sucked butt!! So much pain!!!!!!! After hacking it for a good 6 hours I asked for an epidural and it was all good after that. Well the catheter sucked ass. The RN put it in wrong so my bladder wasn't draining and every time I had a contraction I felt so much pressure. She corrected it by reinserting it and I felt easy better but this was a good few hours later. I only made it to 7cm and the c section Dr came in and said that by looking at my a c section was necessary. I did not argue with that.
Also I had a fever and ended up getting and infection. JJ was in fetal distress and every time I had a contraction his heart rate would go way up. That was the main reason they had to do an emergency c section.
They prepped me around 8pm and by 9:06pm they pulled Joshua Matthew Miller Jr. out. It was amazing to hear his cry.
He was born at 19.5 inches and 7lbs 8.5oz
I got to hold him in recovery before they took him to the NICU.
JJ ended up with hypothermia and tachycardia. He was put in the NICU for a week and I was in the hospital for 4 days.
It was hard having him on the first floor in NICU at Sharp Mary Burch and I was on the fifth floor. I didn't get to take my baby home when I was discharged. I did go see him every few hours to breast feed. Then when I was discharged I pumped and Bubby would bring it to the hospital while I rested at the hotel we were staying at. It was really close to the hospital.
I love our little man. He finally came home with us on Friday April 6th.
JJ has had appointments every week since being discharged. His pediatrician said he is healthy!! And there is no more signs of infection.
Since being home it has been nothing but baby mode around here. Hahaha. I love it!!
This mamabear has had no real sleep these past two weeks. JJ will be three weeks this coming Friday!!
Bubby is flying down during his weekend next week from the 25th to the 28th.
Breast feeding sure does take a lot out of you. I lost 25lbs already. Next week I start walking every day. It'll be the beginning of my third week post partum.
xoxo
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